You’re welcome DICE

Monday, November 21st, 2011

Buying a Battelfield game is like paying to be a software tester, except the hours are worse and there’s no one to report the bugs to. Oh, and you will experience bugs. Lots of them, mostly annoying bugs but some comical ones as well. Its like living on a universe put together by a god who’s at best a C student.

I made the foolish decision to buy BF3 at launch and have not been able to play for more than 2 or 3 minutes at a time. The game just locks up and doesn’t have the decency for a reacharound after fucking me in the ass for the tune of $60 to leave  a proper error message. After some googling and seeing the usual rogue’s gallery of gamers and “power users” blaming everything from the power supply to cosmic rays I finally found someone with a clue who claimed he fixed his issue by disabling his Realtek audio card. His fix was to go out and buy a new non-Realtek audio card. You’re saying to go out and buy a new card? Oh, no you didn’t! The annoyed admin doesn’t roll like that.

I’m not blowing another $50 on yet another “gamer quality” component for the sake of this one game.  So after playing with drivers and sound settings I finally found the fix. Disable the goddamn “Enahanced Stereo Mode.”

Enhanced stereo is one of those complex 3D audio schemes that bribed game reviewers love to praise but for the rest of us its either annoying or non-noticeable.  For whatever reason, no one bothered to test it with one of the world’s most popular chipsets. I think developers should be forced to use middle of the road equipment when working on games especially if their shop is too busy and too popular to do any real testing.  Oh well,  no wonder why Farmville, 360, and the Wii are taking over. That shit just works and doesn’t require you to install Origin or beta Nvidia drivers. The road to consoledom is paved with DICE-like QA.

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